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Dear NSA
August 13, 2013
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Dear NSA,

I know you folks are super busy and I hate to bug you (ha ha, little joke there) but I figured it never hurts to ask, and I am in kind of a bind.

What I need is for you to go back through your copies of my email and send me everything from June 21 to August 6. Even if it's "just the metadata," that would be a huge help. See, my mailbox was wiped out when my flash drive crashed, and it's a real bummer because that was basically my filing system. It was just so easy to go in and sort by name or date or subject, or search for certain words. And all the attachments were right there in the attachment folder, clearly linked. It was a super easy way to find stuff, going back years. You know what I mean.

Anyway, I got kind of lax about backing up, and that's where you come in. I heard you keep tabs on everything everyone does online. What a great service. I've always been wary of those online back-up utilities and storage clouds and such. I mean, you upload all your files to... what? And then who knows who might find a way to look at them. I'm sure you have the securest of all secure systems (like, Security is your middle name), so I don't see why we shouldn't just send all our files directly to you for safekeeping. (Something to think about.)

Anyway, I did a major backup before I left town on June 21, because I was taking the flash drive with me on my trip to the east coast to visit my Mom. (Delaware, to be exact, but of course you know that.) So all I need is the past few weeks' worth of email (sorry, metadata - whatever). I can't imagine you'll have any trouble finding my stuff - I mean, how many Zelda Gatuskins can there be?

Thanks in advance for anything at all you can pull together. You know where to find me. ZG

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Copyright © 2013 Zelda Gatuskin

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